Nurture or ... nurture.

This week I've explored nurturing ourselves with my clients. Most of them had a really hard time identifying how they nurture themselves, and it was even harder to remember how they did so as a child. My childhood was free of the trauma and violence many of them experienced, and I never pretend to have similar experiences as they do, but I've noticed how I currently nurture myself and how it's similar and different to how I did so as a child.
When I was a little girl, grama could fix anything. This is still the case, and when I'm sick, lonely, tired, or experiencing any negative feeling I know talking to grama can fix it. Likewise, when there is something great going on I love sharing it with her to hear the excitement she shares with me. I'm so blessed to have had her as a constant in my life. I've added a closer relationship with my mom and aunts as well as one of the best ways I know to nurture myself.
I'm happiest when I'm cuddling, whether it's sitting on the couch with the dogs and Craig, the doggers surrounding me in the easy chair, or holding hands with my mama. My sister was a source of nurturing when I was a kid - she's 10 years younger and the love I had her for her filled me with happiness - and when she stays with me, Craig gives up the bed because he knows cuddling with her is going to make me happy for days to come. Again, this is a nurture-skill that I've always relied on.
I know that a good book or funny show will nurture me and wrapping myself in blankets. Creativity and showing off is nurturing to me, something that I could rely on as a cute kid who got lots of attention more than is possible now. Sweating it out at the gym is nurturing body and soul, and I am a firm believer that you have to work out when you least want to because it'll feel so damn good after. Being outside and listening to music, writing (sometimes) and long hot showers with millions of creams and gels are all the keys to feeling better for me. Prayer nurtures me, although it may be among the least-used skills I have. And my friends nurture me, just by being my friends. That's really cool.
And then there's food. My relationship with food, as dysfunctional as it may be, has always been one that works for me when I really need it to. Tonight, a cup of hot chocolate and piece of peanut butter-toast (grama's homemade bread no less) and the stress and aches of the day moved from the forefront of my mind. I looked for other options to nurture myself out of a blue mood, but no one answered the phone. Proving, to my chagrin, that food is the tool that I can turn to when I don't even have the energy to find other sources of nurturing.
This goes to show, I think, that the ways we nurture ourselves can also be the ways we hurt ourselves. Drugs, alcohol and sex were named by several clients as ways they've made themselves feel better, even if the end result wasn't a nurturing effect.
It's so interesting to think of all the ways people nurture themselves, healthy and unhealthy. I'll be sure to notice all the ways that I am nurturing to others, because that's the best way to nurture myself of all.