Boy Gets Girl

There's this really crappy feeling I get sometimes when, walking along, I meet a member of the opposite sex.

Fear.

It's something that I try to avoid as often as I can, and not just by refusing to leave the house. I generally refuse to believe that every single man walking in my vicinity is plotting a way to rape, maim and/or kill me. After all, I've got my weiner dogs.

But today, the fear reared. And won. I walking through Coulson Park near the river. Pretty desolate, not a lot of traffic. The husband - or anyone - didnt know where I was. And there are LOTS of great places to hide bodies around there (yes I have thought about it).

I was about 500 feet from the third bridge on the way back to the car. I had the dogs in tight and they didn't even so much as sniff toward this passerby. But the man just sorta creeped me out. I felt sexist, or classist, or something about it after, but his semi-ratty clothes, mullet, 'stache and baseball cap just didn't sit right. I hate judging people by their appearance, but I hate even more having to look over my shoulder to make sure that he's not following me.

This isn't a feeling that men can understand. But as a woman, one of the liabilities of my gender is always being ultra-aware of my surroundings and the people in them, an escape route or having a way to protect myself. I bought Mace about a month ago, and though I rarely remember to carry it I've had several instances I wished I had it.

I'm hoping that as this world becomes more of equality and respect and less about taking what you want from whom you want it as you want it ... that I won't have to feel this way. But even moreso, that my daughters won't.