A Screeching Halt

This week has not been a pretty one. And by not pretty I mean "filled with high-calorie, low-nutrition food."

I felt pretty crappy about myself all weekend, which meant I ate what I wanted when I wanted. In particular, cereal. I have an addiction to Special K Red Berries. And though there are worse things to binge on, I found out today that just a cup of the stuff is about 160 calories rather than the advertised 110. So my 3+ cups cost alot more than I even realized as I stuffed my face.

Last night I went to DQ and picked a brownie earthquake sundae from the list 'o treats. But here's the thing: it sucked. Rather than an ooey gooey chocolately good mess, it was more like a blah brownie, some crumbled oreos and soft serve. There was just a little of the fudge, so that didn't even make up for it. I need to just stick with what I know I like I guess.

We have been eating out a lot, which doesn't bode well for the waistline. Today I had a burger and fries for lunch, and sweet potato fries and some nachos for dinner. Not a vegetable in sight. We are going home for the weekend, and fried food and beer are the staples of Festival weekend so I don't intend on making any big progress then. But on Tuesday, upon our arrival, I will have a no-sugar no-flour grocery list, menu and PLAN. Add that to the workouts I have included in my daily schedule - heart-exploding cardio AND muscle-tearing weights - and I hope to at least make up for the damage I did this week.

The fact of the matter is that I need to lose weight. It will improve every facet of my physical health. A couple asthma attacks had gotten me serious about it, so I'll be doing whatever it takes to keep focused in the next couple weeks. Including absolutely nothing. If I feel a binge coming on, I'll go to bed. If someone invites me for drinks, I'll pass for a book and iced tea. And if husband suggests we go out for dinner, I'll incorporate a salad into the day's cuisine.

I believe that God gave us each a body that He created with utmost care. So destroying my body doesn't just hurt me, it's rather disrespectful to the Big Man. There are people who rely on nothing more than prayer to lose weight, and while I don't want to test my faith (because even Lutheran guilt doesn't make a cookie unappetizing) I can certainly ask for strength in this fight.

So, I'm going to enjoy the next few days. Find joy in starting a new book and add a chapter to the story in my head before closing my eyes, throw myself into the work of finding work and make sure I'm at the gym each day. And then I'm going to have a big change in my diet, and I'm going to keep on enjoying life. Because cookies or no, it's a good one.