In the battle of good versus evil ...

Lives are often judged in terms of good vs. bad - our behavior, our relationships, our educations and personalities. For someone like me - actually, just me - good and bad applies to food too.

Cookies - bad. Carrots - good. Cheesecake - bad. Apple - good. The list goes on, as I am basically able to applie this judgement to everything in the grocery store, everything in the pantry, everything I put in my mouth.

This makes my recent 'rating' system of my daily food intake difficult. Although the 'super', 'ok,' 'not ok' symbols are as kind as they can be, I'm having problems how to actually rate my day based on what I eat. Because in my world, too often the bad outweighs the good.

Here's where I'm stumped: Yesterday, I ate really well. Omelet for breakfast and sandwich for lunch. Smoothie before work and I took a variety of snacks to have at work so I'd be able to eat what I wanted and not just what was made at the house (Warning! control issues!). I had them all eaten by around 8:30, and figured I'd just power through any hunger that I experienced in the next three hours.

But I got off at 9 instead of the scheduled 11. When I got home, pizza boxes greeted me from the counter. Husband and Father in Law ordered pizza and breadsticks for their dinner. And they left some for me.

Now, pizza is a food that I try to just keep neutral, like Switzerland. There are nutritional elements to pizza, it's the avoidance of binging that is most important. Plus, my therapist worked on this concept with me for AGES and dammit if I don't want to wint this battle.

Even though I wasn't hungry, I attacked the pizza. I had cinnamon breadsticks with frosting, thin crust pepperoni. Never mind the breadsticks were hard and the pizza cold. Never mind it wasn't even my favorite kind. I dove right in.

And when I was done, I had the 'uhoh, bad girl' vibes. I felt like I imagine Zula does when she is scolded for peeing on the floor or something. Even though my day to that point had been plus worthy, did the pizza undo all my good doing?

What do you think? Are 3 slices and 3 breadsticks the evil in this battle? Do I deserve a minus sign for yesterday, or was it plus worthy?

*NOTE* I just had a mini bag of Doritos at work bc I'm rather hungry - despite my snacks. Again, I wrestle with good vs. bad.

Considering these are my own effed-up rules, you'd think I'd have some sort of definition for the game.