Today Rocks

because I rock!!

I started the day with a therapy appt., and my therapist is fab at helping me feel like I'm on track. At the very least she agreed mom's comment last nite was pretty snotty. I also met with my behavioral mod team today, Steph and Jeff. Steph emailed me a behavioral contract, which I am going to tape onto the side of the pantry, and also the paper she wrote for the class about the project. It's nice to have someone see me as a potential winner in all this. Especially since it's someone who doesn't HAVE to think that.

She is coming up with daily goals and motivators/rewards for me. I realize that having a baby, being healthy, better self image are all the larger concepts that drive me toward weight loss, but when it comes down to the tangible, I just want to LOOK GOOD. Today I found the dress that I will get as soon as I fit it. It was hanging in the window of Marcasa - a lowcut, high waisted sleeveless dress in bright purple knit. I would be SOO hot wearing that in Cali, sitting on a balcony overlooking the beach drinking wine with my husband. That picture is my in-mind motivator for sure! To keep myself on track I'm going to write messages on the white board and mirrors, plus the dress is my new phone screensaver, complete with the banner, "Motivation".

I had big plans for today and they didn't come entirely to fruition. I was going to go to the gym for two hours, and write four about six. Well, I had computer problems, decided to write a freelance story, needed a nap. So the writing is being put off for a couple more hours. What I did do today, though, was stay really on track for points and went for an hour long walk with Zu. So I am at 32.5 for points, and earned 5 Activity Points today. I am only supposed to get 31, but having a Cadbury Egg was worth going over 1.5. Plus, how awesome that I stopped at one!?! Yep, good for me all around. I got all my water in, but am really struggling with fruits and veggies. We dont have any, had takeout for dinner, and honestly, produce this time of year sucks. Add that to the fact that it costs so much and I find it hard to be really excited about getting anything more than lettuce, tomato and bananas.

My best friend, Sherri, had her baby today - a little girl! Eve Laurel is Sherri and Craig's first (her husband is Craig too) and I'm going out there in a few weeks to visit. How fun it will be to take Eve on little walks in the stroller, hold her, nap with her and Sher. Maybe she'll be too little for walks, but they do have a trail right behind their house if not - and a DQ down the street! Can infants eat soft serve?

Speaking of soft serve, I went through a drive through for the first time this year tonite. My New Year resolution was no fast food, but I dont think this one really counted. We ordered dinner from Grains of MT, which has smaller portions and generally pretty healthy stuff. I had a pesto chicken panini, and one half had a hair in it so I the other half. Kettle chips come with, which I had about 3 points worth. After, I was really wanting a 1-pt fudge bar. Unfortunately we are out but I suggested to Craig we hit up McD's for a 3-point cone. And it was the yummiest soft serve - and probly the only - I've had all year. At least you know what you're getting at McD's the points are available for everything. Gelato is trickier bc you think it's 'healthy' so eat more, then find out it's 5 points a serving and your Grande was 3 servings. OUCH! Besides, gelato isn't worth eating unless it's drowned in espresso and topped with whip. So it's a seldom treat nowadays. We may have indulged all summer but we did get a billion points that will allow us to bring a cooler of the stuff home next time we are entertaining :)

I have found another great lunch/breakfast. Craig ate the last of the pizza from last nite -which isnt that great as leftovers, so hah! - so I had to fend for myself in the kitchen. Scary! But I managed, but scrambling an egg with turkey sausage, ff cheddar, mushroom putting it all on an English Muffin. Sure beats oatmeal (my M-F breakfast of choice, generally). I also had a handful of peanuts as a snack around 3 (11 and 3 are my hunger times, so I try to have something that wont annihilate my points). Hmm, come to add it all up now and I'm more like 5.5 points over. But you know what? I feel like I made good choices all day, ate until satisfied all the way through, and am generally proud of the day's intake. I really feel like I am back on track (a 3-day bump isn't that bad anyway, I spose) so hopefully it shows on the scale this week.

Since I am taking Phentermine in the a.m. now, I've also been able to remember my daily vitamin. I hate taking vitamins, esp. this brand which requires two for the full dose. But I know that taking them will improve my body's chances of fighting off all the nasty floating around, so I am making an effort to do so. Last nite on BL they had a really cheesy bit for One A Day vitamins. Their plugs for sponsors are always so obvious. If anyone is ever that excited about vitamins in real life, they should be slapped.

Ok I am going to write like a demon now. My friend Marlene told me I can't get away with summarizing all billion variations of bipolar disorder and the various diagnostic criteria. It's going to take forever but should get me ever closer to that 40 page mark!