Back for 08

So I haven't blogged in months because A) no one reads it anyway and B) my weight loss wasn't going so well.
Surprise, some one DOES read it (thanks Rae) and even though my weight loss is still crap (back to where I started with a 7-pound three-week gain over Christmas) I have a new motivation that I think can only be helped by writing. I mean, if I want to eat a bag of chips, I can write. And if I want to avoid exercising, I can explore that through writing. But I am really hoping that this time I can make the committment to be at the gym for REAL. I tend to give up on myself pretty easily, but I'm making steps to amend that. I have my WW-for-life-partner, Betsy, keeping my butt in gear; am taking a two-month group training class with my aunt Loretta; and I am watching Biggest Loser. Tend to hate the show but there is something about seeing people lose 20 pounds in a week that is invigorating.
I know what I need to do. And the truth is, I'll be giving up a lot if I dont do it. We've agreed that having kids is not an option with either of us at the size we are. And because there's a small window of time of when we're ready and when Craig is under 45 (love you honey) we hope to get started on that mission about the beginning of 09. So, I have a year to get healthy enough to be a mom on all kinds of levels - I dont want to be the mom who gets winded running around the park. And I dont want to be the lady who gets diabetes while preggers. So there's that.
Its funny- when I think about it, I know every reason getting in shape and healthy matters. But when I want to eat cheesecake or skip the gym I seem to forget those benefits. What would it be like to sleep better or not have such a bad back? Those things will be helped with weight loss. Or the experience of shopping in ANY store I wanted - something I've never actually experienced ? Last night I had a dream that I was back in high school, and Mike and I were going to prom. I was going through my old dresses and in my dream - a state of unconcious mind you - I realized that I have gained 65 pounds since graduation from high school. Now they didnt get on overnight, and wont go off that way either, but if this is beginning to haunt my dreams then its time to take my subconcious seriously.
Eat healthy and exercise. How can something so simple be so hard?

50 pounds. 52 weeks.