Living a different 'if'

As someone who has struggled with weight my whole life, I often couch things in terms of 'if' - "If I lose 10 pounds I get new shoes" ... "If I were thinner people would like me more" ... "If I lose this weight I can do XYZ". But what if those ifs are all null and void? What if I never lost another ounce? Would I still do what it is I'm doing?

I worked out tonight like a demon. My pre-exercise meal was oatmeal, and I had a gouda-avo-turkey wrap after. If I don't lose weight, was it worth it?

I have long said that I'm in this for the health benefits. And thinking about it in that way, I really have to face that. Yeah, I would be here. My heart is stronger, I need to increase my energy level, endorphins fight depression, and my joints can only get better. If I never lose another pound, I will never wear a size 14. But if that were the case, I'd still be in it to win it. Go big or go home.

In "Overcoming Overeating" (life changing book - get it) I have been challenged to take three big steps - there's of course the vowing off all diets (DONE. WW doesn't count I figure since I so seldom stay in my points, it's really about helping me make better choices and have options that wouldn't otherwise be available) but also buying a full length mirror and cleaning out my closet. The thought is that if you wear what you can wear now instead of keeping around thin- and fat-clothes, you're in the moment. Also, by seeing your whole body you are able to become familiar and comfortable with it. What a novel idea, eh?

I am really loving my Activate America class, it has introduced strength training and pushed me beyond a level that I would take myself to. My teacher even commented on my flexibility tonight, it was like getting a gold star. :) Now I'm off to the shower (icing the neck and shoulders already done). My hair was already wet with sweat tonight so you can just imagine how excited the hubby would be to crawl in bed with me.